Why You Can’t Achieve Self-Discipline
You wake up in the morning and you feel like crap. You didn’t do any of the things you placed on your To-Do list. Your dream seems so far away; like they will never become a reality.
We all struggle to be disciplined to do the things we want to do.
But why can’t we be self-disciplined?
People tell me they can’t seem to follow through on their goals. They can’t be disciplined enough to do the things that matter most to them.
If you wake up one day and do an activity towards the achievement of your goals, that’s great. But if you don’t do anything for the next one week or one month, then it’s not great.
The Science Behind A Lack of Self-Discipline
I asked myself one day why I couldn’t be self-disciplined. I thought it had something to do with the way I was born. Maybe genetics or something. Maybe I wasn’t born with the willpower to do meaningful things.
I would set goals at the beginning of the year and drag myself through the mud because I couldn’t achieve the goals I set. This was a never-ending cycle every year. Life was a series of hits and misses. And I wondered if I had what it took to achieve my heart’s desires.
I studied myself, my actions, my failures and my successes. And I began to understand self-discipline is a myth. Can we truly achieve self-discipline or is a word we say to ourselves to feel good?
Have you ever heard anyone say, “she is such a disciplined person. She always achieves what she sets her mind to do”?
That sounds great. But is it really about discipline?
What if you took your mind off becoming self-disciplined and focused on something else instead?
Why Self-Discipline Applies To Some Situations and Not Others
In the art of self-discipline, I’ve realized I talk about it when it comes to tasks that are game-changers for my business and life.
Why don’t we talk about discipline when it comes to checking our emails or calling our friends? We don’t need to be disciplined to do these activities. But when it comes to doing the things that would truly change our lives, we talk about self-discipline.
You want to lose 30 pounds. You don’t need to be disciplined to eat what you want. But you need to be disciplined to eat the right foods and do the right exercises to lose weight.
In 2016, I resigned from my previous job and worked from home. I tried to succeed at various businesses. I also started blogging. I learned there’s a major difference between being an entrepreneur and an employee.
The life of an entrepreneur can seem enticing and exciting. But it’s a whole different ballgame from the life of an employee.
Interestingly, the habits you form as an employee don’t always apply to the habits you need as an entrepreneur.
As an employee, you are focused on what your employer wants. You answer to them. You don’t need to be disciplined to do your job. You do the tasks assigned to you and you meet your deadlines.
As an entrepreneur, unless you have a board of directors or partners, you answer to no one but yourself. You need to be disciplined to meet your deadlines.
A Different Approach To Self-Discipline
What if we used a different approach to discipline?
Jeff Goins says, “don’t focus on writing a book. Focus on writing 500 words a day”.
Instead of trying to be self-disciplined, do at least one activity every day in line with your goals.
Don’t stress yourself out over trying to be disciplined.
Form habits instead.
For example, you want to quit your job in 6 months.
You find it hard to focus on your side-hustle because you are too tired to do anything in the evenings. You sleep off and the next morning, you feel like a failure. You are stuck in this never-ending cycle. It seems like there’s no hope in sight.
Decide today to do at least one activity every day.
It could be writing 500 words in a day or designing a part of an outfit. It needs to be aligned with your goals.
Don’t underestimate the power of small things.
Start to do one little thing every day.
Don’t Break The Chain
This is January 2018. We are still at the beginning of the new year.
New year. New dreams. New habits.
Once you decide to do at least one activity every day, don’t break the chain.
Whatever activity you choose, it must be a high value activity.
High value activities are activities that bring you closer towards the achievement of your goals. They seem hard but they have high returns on investment.
Examples of high value activities are writing, marketing (with the right strategy), designing etc.
Use a calendar — digital or physical. I prefer physical. Every day, you perform the high value activity, tick the date on your calendar.
The more you tick dates on your calendar, the more motivated you will be to continue.
This is a counter-intuitive approach to trying so hard to be self-disciplined.
It’s surrendering to the little things instead.
Form habits. Don’t break the chain.
Conclusion
Do you respect yourself enough to succeed?
Do you take yourself seriously?
If you do, decide today to form habits. Do something every single day no matter how small it may seem. Don’t strive for self-discipline.
Strive for consistency. Strive to not break the chain.
You gain a sense of self-worth. You overcome your fears and you rise above mediocrity.
You achieve your goals.
“Frequent small steps beat occasional big leaps every time” — Jeff Goins
Show up every single day.
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