How do you combat “burnout” when quitting isn’t an option? 10 skills to get you back on track.

“Burnout” is a trigger word for me. I’m not sure exactly what it means other than people often use it as a terminal word. Someone will say “I’m burned out” as if it is an indefinite state, an end point, something that won’t change, and ultimately…. a reason to quit. They say it as if it is something that “happens to them” vs. being an active participant in the process.

“Work” is a state of mind. It is a mental game that we all play every day of our lives. What we choose to focus on, what we choose to engage in, how we CHOOSE to feel about it.

The warning phrases of “burnout” are clear: “I’m tired”, “I just don’t know what the point is”, “It will never change”, “I just can’t get ahead”, “I’m overwhelmed”. These words are often paired with behaviors: Apathetic attitude, depressed affect, missing work, increased sick time, difficulty focusing, decreased work effectiveness.

Here is my secret: As the CEO, I feel those things too. I’m not immune to feelings of “this is too much”. I experience feelings of apathy and lack of focus for long periods of time. I get overwhelmed. I lose perspective. Yet, I don’t have the option to quit. I have to work through it. Thus, I’ve learned some skills to help me do that.

So, what do you do when “burning out” isn’t an option?

1. Contain your energy. Get out of as many standing meetings as possible. When I feel like “I just can’t get ahead” I stop going to meetings and will do the bare minimum of human contact while I work my way through the problem of workload overwhelm.
2. Go into your natural “recharge” state. I am an introvert by nature and I fantasize about sitting on a comfy chair with a puffy blanket and a space heater. I have learned to fake extroversion so well that people are often surprised when I tell them I prefer to be alone. That said, being a fake extrovert takes an emotional toll on me over time. When I am feeling numb or “overwhelmed” I will literally find a small contained area and stay in it until the feeling passes. Sometimes it is my office. Sometimes it is my bed or my couch. Sometimes it is a table at a coffee shop. Either way, I need to be alone so I can mentally self-soothe. If there is a space heater and a blanket…even better.
3. Let others serve you and take care of you. For me, I take this literally and I go to restaurants by myself all the time. In my ideal world, I would eat out every meal of the day. I wouldn’t even have a kitchen in my house because it would never be used. I find cooking a messy waste of time. I like to eat and I like to be taken care of by a complete stranger that I don’t have to impress or interact with more than a few words. It is a simple act of service that is one of my primary love languages.
4. Work to regain control. It is easy to slip into a state where the work “owns you” instead of you owning the work. It happens to me frequently and each time it does I have to step out of the workflow, re-stack my papers and my thoughts, and then start again. I like the challenge of taking back control and even during my lowest points, I still feel competitive.
5. Take short trips frequently. I see people that are feeling overwhelmed try to combat it with a long vacation. It doesn’t work. Why? A long vacation can actually make you feel more stressed and more underwater. You have to prep beforehand and come back to a mountain of work afterwards. This impact can actually create a counter-effect of pushing someone over the edge because their vacation re-affirms “I can’t get ahead of the work”. Instead, take lots of mini-vacations. Go out of town every weekend for a month. Go stay in a hotel for one night, even if it is in the same town. Take Fridays off for several weeks in a row. The absence will help to give you some perspective and it won’t dig the hole deeper.
6. Remember it is a mental game. It is an odd cultural thing that we are taught that work is “bad” and that our goal should be to work less and play more. Sometimes work and play are kind of the same thing, especially if you like your work. We put the pressure on ourselves and when we are stressed we often use work as the scapegoat — “Work is the reason I am stressed”… Are you sure it isn’t because you just bought a house? Had a Baby? Relocated? Got married? Got a Divorce? That is probably more likely the reason you are feeling down — it isn’t work, so don’t punish it.
7. Lean into the work during times of stress, not out of it. During some of the most challenging times of my life — the passing of my mother, the birth of my children — is when I depended on work to see me through. Sometimes the emotions of our personal lives can be so profound that work can be your strong and gentle anchor. I have depended on my work to balance me during life’s challenges. It is where I feel strong and capable, even when the rest of my life feels out of control. Work reminds me I will be ok and it keeps me in a routine admist chaos. That routine can be your saving grace when everything else is spinning.
8. Make a choice and commit. Commitment takes persistence. Choosing a long-term career is kind of like choosing to get married. There are peaks and valleys. There are times of passion and then times of stress. Be careful not to leave your career during a low point just like you would be careful not to leave your spouse during a time of low chemistry. It will get better — some things just take time to get back in alignment. Choosing to walk a long-term path will point out your rough edges that some people avoid by bouncing between jobs to “feel happy”. That said, “Wherever you go, there you are”. Choose a place you can work on your rough edges and see it through. You made a choice. Choose to be happy in your choice.
9. Connect with your co-workers. They are your work BFFs, remember? There is a lot of satisfaction in having strong emotional relationships at work. Most of my closest personal friends started as work friends. Working well with someone else towards a common goal is a powerful experience — one you tend to only get on sports teams or in the office.
10. Act as if. Words matter and if you talk about how you are overwhelmed all the time you will be just that. Change the words of your story and your life will reflect your story. Speak about your capabilities and your action plan to solve the problems. If you are stuck, then at least be honest…. It isn’t that you “can’t”, it is that you don’t “want” to. There is a difference. Own the difference if nothing else.

Feelings of burning out don’t mean you are weak, it probably means you are actually the “best”. The best workers and leaders are those that work with intensity. That intensity is what serves and what hinders us professionally. It requires a commitment to use intensity to your advantage and not your disadvantage.

Finally, remember that feelings are temporary. You will have a new one tomorrow, or as soon as 10 minutes. Listen to what your feelings are telling you. Adjust for a second. Keep moving, even if your pace changes for a minute. It will get better.

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